Ruud Review: Twilight

Twilight, starring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

When I started reading Twilight this past August, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. A little over 2 months later and while I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fanatic, I do display an Edward key chain proudly at my desk. It's not big, it's not intrusive, but it's there. A little reminder of the fictional character I love. The fictional vampire character I love. Do I get all giddy like a school girl when I think about the forbidden love between vampire Edward and the love of his life Bella? Yes. Do I let out a little sigh when I think about Edward pressing Bella up against her red truck and breathing softly against her lips. Yes, yes I do. I am not ashamed. So needless to say, I have been looking forward to the release of Twilight since I first cracked the spine of the first book in the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer.

Four of my girlfriends and I ventured out opening weekend to catch the movie that is being pegged as "The next Harry Potter" starring Robert Pattinson as Edward and Kristen Stewart as Bella. If you do not know what Twilight is, please remove yourself from the rock you are under.

Bella has recently moved in with her father in the constantly gray Oregon city of Forks and as the new student at school, everyone is enthralled with her – including Edward. Edward is the illusive and insanely gorgeous local vampire. Edward and Bella quickly fall in love and into trouble. Edward, as dangerous as he is to Bella, has sworn to keep her safe. Of course he will have to prove his love to her and protect her from a nasty vampire who has decided to "track" Bella and kill her.

Stewart played Bella well. She was stronger than the book character and not as needy or annoying. But Stewart also played it like she has played every other character she has ever played. If I didn't know any better, Bella didn't come from her mother's house in Phoenix, but from New York where she just had a horrific experience being locked in a panic room without her insulin meds. Pattinson as Edward – great choice casting directors. Pattinson is hot. He has great hair and a jaw line that won't quit. But Pattinson played Edward's moods inconsistently. While I agree Edward had some crazy mood swings – I wouldn't consider them to be as pendulum like as Pattison played it. The no name supporting cast was good as well – mostly because I imagine kids in high school to actually be that obnoxious and annoying.

Pattinson and Stewart had obvious chemistry on screen, but I didn't feel the passion as much in the film as I did in the book. And where were the "steamy" love scenes – and when I say "steamy" I mean Edward pressing Bella against the truck, some light sensual – but not too sensual - touching, the subtle innuendos. Remember, this is aimed toward young adults and written by a Mormon, light touching is as steamy as it gets. I just didn't feel the intense love and passion these two have for each other. I could have used a few more make-out scenes, too. I'm just saying

Shot on location in Washington, the landscape was magnificent. And caught the tone of the book well. The screenwriter and director tried to stay as true to the book as possible, but the film seemed disjointed, like a series of scenes as opposed to a fluid story. And maybe that is because I know the book so well and I know what was skipped over and pared down for the screen version.

During the film I decided to read Twilight again this weekend. And let's face it I'll most likely see the movie again. I sure I will giggle like a little school girl during some of the scenes with Edward and Bella. But do I consider myself a fanatic at this point? I'll let my Edward key chain decide.

Next Review: Milk

Letter of the Week: Girl Who Terrorized Me in Grade School

I am quickly approaching my 10 year high school reunion and I honestly cannot wait. The past weeks I have been inundated with - and inundating - friend requests from - and to - my dear high school chums on Facebook. As I reminisce about how wonderful (and at times tragic) high school was, I am reminded about how tragic (and at times wonderful) grade school was.

I am not exactly sure why I was terrorized in grade school and I am going to bet that I was not the only one. My mom used to tell me it was because these psychological bullies were jealous of me. After I found an old grade school "bully" on MySpace, I am going to guess that my mom - as per usual - was probably right:

Dear Girl Who Terrorized Me In Grade School Who Shall Remain Unnamed,

It has recently come to my attention that after you accused a beloved teacher of molesting you and then immediately moved to the Texas that you did not in fact burn in the Waco Texas Massacre involving David Koresh. Instead you dropped out of high school to pursue a career in modeling.

From what I understand you have successfully climbed your way to the middle. Way to go! You're now a not so well known LA socialite. You have been linked to semi successful musicians, clean faced models and most recently mildly famous former American Idol contestants. You even have your own video on YouTube. I watched it and I could not be more embarrassed for you – I felt as though I was living out an uncomfortable episode of The Office. Congratulations, you are officially an idiot.

What happened? Is this because during an argument we once we had over who was better at free throw shooting, I yelled, "At least I have a dad!"? Even though I was a way better free throw shooter, when my mom made me be the better person and apologize, I really did mean it.

OMG, is this because you don't have a dad?!

So, after successfully cutting me down for a good portion of my tenure in grade school, and making me cry on more than one occasion and possibly being the root cause of my insecurities and any self esteem issues I may have had, you have now made me feel better about myself.

And, being the nice person that I actually am, I do feel a little bad for you. After all, you are pushing 30 and while you may have a hot body and a non ugly face (which is to say that while you are not ugly you aren't gorgeous, either), it won't last forever. No, you may not need "g'ometry" as you state in your video, but you do need to some sort of education to truly succeed in not just this world, but life in general.

You may walk the red carpet from time to time but I least I walk with my head held high with my dignity.

Yours not so bitterly,

Amy Ruud

Ruud Review: Quantum of Solace

Quantum of Solace, starring Daniel Craig.

I've seen The Matrix, probably, a hundred times. It's a great movie. Complicated storyline that really makes you think. Action. Adventure. Love. It has it all. But it wasn't until halfway through the 15th or 16th time I saw The Matrix did I actually understand what was going on. The same is true for the Bond films. Are they above my head? Is there so much going on that I can't quite following it to a t? Am I distracted by all of the colors and sounds that I just can't seem to pay attention to the plot? The answer is "yes." But do I care? Not really.

Quantum of Solace started out with a splash. No, I am not referring to the chase scene in the sewers of Italy, but me spilling 32 ounces of Root Beer on Mr. Brian Kemper (Sorry Brian!). But aesthetically speaking, the film is nothing short of spectacular. With the parkour influenced action scenes, this film is visually stunning. Each fight scene is like a well choreographed forbidden dance of sorts - but nothing like what you see on Dancing With the Stars. And these dances are dangerous (I mean, people die... a lot). From what I was able to pick up, 007 is pissed. I mean, like really really pissed. Either about a girl named Vesper or a Vespa bike, I cannot be sure. Either way, he is out for blood. And someone tried to kill M. I am pretty sure Bond is looking for a secret terrorist group, like the Sierra Club or something (yeah, I totally think they are up to something... you can't just give away free backpacks without being up to something, but I digress). And some guy in said terrorist group is retaining water (but not in the "that time of the month, I'm bloated" kind of way) from some South American country. The point is, Bond is pissed and there is a lot of action. Nuff said.

But I do miss my old Bond. Craig, as Bond - even with his piecing blue eyes - is cold and emotionless (I don't think he smiled once). I get it, you're pissed, but past 007 agents were always open to drowning their sorrows in a signature drink (shaken, not stirred of course) and with the comfort of a fine looking lady. Bond is supposed to be suave and debonair and certainly flashes a bright white smile every once in a while. And Craig as Bond had his Bond moments - opening a hotel room with a credit card - classy! A dry comment about being a teacher on sabbatical - hilarious! Hopping over a railing and prancing across the edge of the hotel balcony - hot! But something was missing. Maybe it was Q. Or the famous Bond gadgets. But at least we still have M, played by Dame Judi Dench, and she is spot on. But then again, she is always spot on in everything she does. And of course, there is this installment's Bond Girl. The perfect mixture of wholesome and exotic in her perfectly bronzed skin.

I still don't know what Quantum of Solace means exactly. And I am pretty sure I only heard the word "quantum" muttered, maybe, two times. But, I must say, this was a solid effort. Action was everywhere! By Land! By Sea! By Air! This film had it all. Even a crotch shot. Yes, a crotch shot. (And I am pretty sure they slowed it down a bit so that everyone in the theater had just enough time to process it - "yes, i did indeed see what I thought I just saw.") And let's not forget the knife fight - there is nothing I love more than a good knife fight! As for the overall plot, I'll let you know what I think after my 15th or 16th showing.

Next Review: Twilight

Ruud Review: Rachel Getting Married

Last Friday I saw Rachel Getting Married starring Anne Hathaway.

On what I imagine was a dark and cold night in December of 1987 my parent's dressed their four children in matching Santa Bear sweatshirts, strapped them in the family sedan and trekked out to the mall to see Santa Claus - something they had done for at least a few years by this point. I vaguely remember this, but I am sure the next few hours were filled with begging, screaming, and complaints about being hot, hungry and/or tired. I am sure someone, most likely me, complained about the long line to see Santa Claus. Jon would have pleaded for the latest Lego set, Jennie would have asked for a Barbie and Amanda would have wanted some sort of princess dress or palace. I am sure that my parents both dreaded and looked forward to this day every year. This is evident by the fact that my mother proudly displays each year's Santa photo every Christmas. But the December 1987 photo is the one that sticks out in my mind. In this picture, Jennie is all smiles. Jon, with a death grip around Amanda is all smiles, too. Amanda is, well, I imagine Amanda is shrilling so loud the dogs at the pet store on the other side of the mall are going nuts in their cruel cages. And I... I am embarrassed. You can tell I am embarrassed by the way my head is slightly turned and my face is being covered by my hand. The poor bastard playing Santa Claus is, I'm pretty sure, terrified.

This scene in my life, straight out of 1987, is the closest thing I can equate to the film Rachel Getting Married. Anne Hathaway plays a recovering addict who is let out of rehab to attend her sister's wedding. The first thing I want to say is that Anne Hathaway did a fantastic job in this film. I enjoy Hathaway is mostly everything thing she has done (expect that weird short lived Fox series, Get Real, a show that Amanda still quotes every now and then). Her performance was convincing, powerful and heart wrenching. Kudos to you Anne Hathaway. The rest of the film, however, was nothing short of painful. It's like watching an episode of The Office, but without the humor. So Hathaway is selfish and self absorbed recovering addict. Like most addicts, I imagine, Hathaway's character feels the need to constantly be the center of attention and everything has to be about her and her disease. Her sister is bitter, or maybe just tired, because their father is an enabler. The mother is... well, distant and emotionless. That is until the big fight between her and Hathaway's character. There is little plot - the film revolves around the wedding and a family dealing with the return of their addict daughter/sister and their relationships. It's poignant, but painful to see a family go through what they have gone through and to try and make a special day happy, despite the past. It's also painfully long... I could have done without at least half of the unnecessary dialogs/monologues during the rehearsal dinner, wedding reception dinner and the bizarre dancing that followed. It was also shot using a single digital camera, so it has that home movie/Blair Witch Project feel to it.

Overall thoughts: If you get motion sickness, take some Dramamine before watching this film. Hathaway was stellar - check this movie out just to see her. It was a moving film, it just didn't move very fast. Parts were very uncomfortable to watch, but you can really feel something for this family. And it was long. There was one scene during the wedding (which was Hindu themed despite no one in the film being Hindu) where I actually said to myself, "Really?"

But let me tell you, if you feel as though your family is dysfunctional or embarrassing or you have a sister who screams at the shear sight of Santa Claus and you are dreading speading time with them this coming holiday season, go and see this movie and they won't look so bad anymore.

Next Review: Quantum of Solace

Ruud Review: What Just Happened?

Last week I saw What Just Happened, starring Robert DeNiro.

In the film, Robert DeNiro plays a Film Producer. I now know why my company decided to change our titles from "Project Manager" to "Producer." From what I gather, Producers do a lot of talking on the phone and a lot of driving. They have strained family relationships because they work all the time. They are the ones who have to deliver bad news, get yelled at, appease everyone else around them, make sure things start on time, end on time and are delivered to the studio in the manner they want it delivered. There seems to be a lot of risk and change management as well. I could totally do that job.

So DeNiro has just finished a film starring Sean Penn. And at the end of the film, a dog gets shot and everyone is horrified, so DeNiro has to convince the director to edit the scene so the dog doesn't get shot - all in time for Cannes. Meanwhile, his next film is about to start filming. It stars Bruce Willis and DeNiro has to convince Willis to shave his mountainman beard before filming can begin. All the while, he is going to therapy with his ex-wife so they can learn to be apart and learns that his daughter from his first marriage was dating a DB agent who has recently killed himself.

Overall thoughts: I would have enjoyed it more had the people sitting in our row weren't snoring. It was a little slow. While I did laugh out loud more than once, I could have used a little more humor. I think it was more a story about a guy with a demanding job and the toll it takes on him and his relationships more than about a film producer - which I enjoyed. DeNiro could have easily been playing an lawyer, investment banker, or an ePrize Project Manager (who are, oddly enough, now called Producers).

Next Ruud Review: Rachel Getting Married

Letter of the Week: HGTV

With the Michigan weather turning from 70 and sunny to 32 and snowy - it just a couple of days, my Sundays are turning into lazy days and that means lots of TV. And today I was reminded of my love/hate relationship with HGTV:

Dear HGTV,

Since purchasing my first home over a year ago, I have become quite enthralled with your programming. I find myself not only watching but taking notes from such shows as Design on a Dime and Don't Sweat It. Unfortunately, it isn't before Sunday afternoon that I realize my entire weekend has been spent watching other people fix up their homes and nothing actually gets done to my house, but I digress.

Do your viewing audience a favor and be a little more selective when it comes to the caliber of people you put on your shows. I realize that many of these shows are on a pretty low budget and you are going for that "real people" feel, but if I have to see one more slightly obese woman wearing white sneakers, fatigue cargo capris and a tank top that is 2 sizes too small, I might take my reciprocating saw to my television set. If I want to check out how white trash lives, I'll go to the mall.

I'm not saying everyone has to be pretty and perfect, hell, I often the leave house wearing lounge pants and a discolored sweatshirt, but I'm not going to be TV. Let's just try and make some sort of effort to make these people a little more presentable otherwise I might have to make a permanent switch over to the trendier TLC.

Sincerely,

Amy Ruud – somewhat loyal viewer