Take Me Drunk I’m Home

I remember the first time I got really drunk off of beer in a bar. I was 19 years old and I used a terrible fake ID to get into a micro brewery to see a band play in Rochester Hills, MI. I remember at the end of the night talking to one of the guys in the band and the room behind him spinning. I asked my friend – who was 23 – what was going on and she explained that I had the spins. I was the happiest drunk in the world. I cannot remember the last time I felt such pure joy as I did that first time I got drunk in a bar. And then I told my friend to take me drunk I’m home. That night may have the start a beautiful – yet at times troubled – relationship between me and beer.

But at some point you grow up and get responsible and things happen – like sick and have a life-changing surgery. And as Pearl Jam says, “I ain’t changed, but I know I ain’t the same.” As of July 11, 2009 I have had 1 beer in the past 3 months. It has been almost 3 months since the last time I smoked. I have gone blind, had surgery, regained most of my vision, lost weight, gotten over an addiction to pain pills, returned to work – a lot has happened.

But I miss my “old” life. I miss being all wild and crazy (sometimes) and being the life of the party (other times). I miss going out to the bars and drinking and for the first time since I quit, I miss smoking. Well, not really, but a little... I miss the act of it. I miss the spins.

With that said, I was really looking forward to this weekend. There were a number of social events all weekend and I decided that this was it, this was going to be the weekend that Amy slowly makes her return to… well, to life.

Unfortunately, one of the side effects of my medication is that it makes carbonated beverages taste metallic – and that is how the last beer I had tasted – metallic. I was also under doctors orders to stay away from wine and I do not do hard liquor, so beer was it for me, no matter how it tasted. And I was determined to have more than one beer this weekend.

Friday night included several stops at several locations and I managed to choke down 2 beers. I was a little disappointed with my first showing, but there was still Saturday night…

I headed over to my co-worker’s good old fashion house party. I had ever intention of leaving these by 10:30… that is until I actually got there. It was like, what surgery? What vision impairment? What metallic taste? The beer tasted good – the way beer should taste – so of course I just kept on drinking it! And then the games started. A little beer pong, where I dominated. My partner commented on my eye sight telling me to mention to my doctor how good I was at sinking the ping pong balls in the beer cups – I agreed. And of course there was flip cup. I stayed and I played and partied it up!

I didn’t get home until 2AM and I felt great. Finally I was able to take advantage of my inability to drive! Finally I felt like myself – my old self - again! I felt that pure joy I felt way back when I first got drunk at that brewery in Rochester Hills. I was drunk. And sure enough when I went to bed, I had the spins. It made me very very happy. I managed to slur to myself, “Oh the spins! How I have missed you! Welcome back!”

The next day I paid for it though… I blame my medication, mostly. I know, for the most part, my limits and I will, for the most part, stick to them. But it’s nice to know that I can go out, have a good time, have a life, actually survive, and someone will be there to take me drunk, I’m home.

(July 11, 2009)