Reset on Life

We didn’t really have a gaming system growing up. If we wanted to play Nintendo, we had to go to friend’s house to play. I distinctly remember playing Tetris non stop whenever I was at a specific childhood friend’s house. And I specifically remember that game getting stuck all the time. You know what I am talking about – the game freezes up and weird lines appear on the screen. You get all frustrated because you had the perfect tetris lined up and all you needed was the long line of 4 squares and you would have made it the next level which was faster and harder and now it is all blown. So you throw the remote at the wall and pop open the lid on the console. You press down and pop out the cartridge. You blow in it and dust goes flying and you shove it back in and press it back down and restart the game. We all know the routine – whether you had Nintendo or not, you know the routine. Sometimes you could get away with just hitting the reset button, but most of the time, you had to pull it our, blow it and shove it back in (Get your mind out of the gutter – you know who you are!). The point is, you started over.

I can look at my situation in one of two ways. I can sit back and blame what happened to me on all sorts of things. I can blame hormones or genetics or a shoddy hand being dealt to me. I can wallow in my misery and bitch and moan. I can complain. I can use this as an excuse to be lazy and just sit around and think about my limitations and let them… well, limit me.

Or I can do what I always do. I can say eff it. I can find the funny in my situation. I can name my condition (it’s called “Jack” by the way, after a concept in the movie Fight Club). I can tell people funny stories about how I talk to myself at Starbucks or literally run into people constantly. Instead of complaining, I am changing. Instead of waiting around for things to happen, I am making them happen. Instead of letting my limitations hold me back, I am pushing myself more than I have before.

I am taking the steps necessary to make changes in my life. Sure, it is scary and it isn’t easy. And I have moments of regression. I’ve eaten bad food and skipped a work out or two and picked smoking back up for a few weeks. But no one is perfect. I am not going to say I am trying, because I am not trying – I am doing. I have set goals and I am working towards them. And sometimes they need to be adjusted, but they are still there. And I am not going to let jack or “Jack” hold me back.

Some people might think there is something wrong with having to go through what I went through to make such changes in their life, but you know what I say? Eff it. If I thought that way I would have gone right back to my life before the surgery – my unhealthy life before “Jack.” Sometimes you can just hit the reset the button and move on. But sometimes you have to pull it out, blow it and shove it back in – and apparently that is what I needed – now, seriously, get your mind out of the gutter!