Strong Like Bull

I once helped my dad move a stove from my parents’ kitchen to their garage. My dad was unsure if we would be able to move it with just the two of us – but we did. When we set the stove down in the garage my dad, exasperated, said, “Amy, you are strong like bull.” Yeah, I am strong like bull.

Since then I have moved another stove, rewired all electrical outlets and light switches in my house, done minor repairs on my car, installed lighting fixtures, snaked drains, moved boxes and beds and desks, built Ikea furniture. I mow my own lawn and do my own laundry. I work out. I take pride in what I can do – especially in what I can do without the assistance of others. And then I got sick and needed surgery and my world changed.

All of a sudden my sister had to mow the lawn and carry my laundry from my room to the basement and back up. There was no cleaning – which was fine by me – and things that once seemed commonplace to me became a chore. And all of a sudden I needed assistance from others.

But the most jarring of restrictions – except for driving – was working out. All of my doctors were in agreement on one thing regarding my condition – I needed to lose weight. But, they explained to me, I had to be careful. The shunt that was placed in my lower back and wrapped around to my abdomen can become dislodged with strenuous activity. So no heavy lifting. No heavy exercise. No over exerting myself. For exercise I can walk. I convinced my doctor that I could do hand weights, too, but no bending over. Not until I lost enough weight that I don’t need the shunt and I can let it fail. No yoga, no bike, no aerobics, no moving stoves.

So walk I did, and walk I do. And I can feel my shunt – pulling slightly on my side. They tell me it is normal. I’m sorry, but there is nothing normal about feeling a contraption in your body. But I have a goal and as soon as I reach it I will step it up a notch and I will over exert myself as much as I possibly can. But for now I simply walk on – why? Because I am strong like bull.

(July 22, 2009)